It's time to publish my annual travel stats for 2011:
136,911 miles, 8 airlines, 29 airports
Total delays: 14.55 hours (includes credits for early arrivals)
Percent of all flights with a delay: 25% (70% of those were delayed more than 15 mins)
Average delay (all flights): 58 minutes
Percent of delays not weather related: 56.67%
Percent of flights with a delay by airline:
Southwest (50 flights) 26% (77% of those were delayed more than 15 mins)
United (49 flights) 22% (64% of those were delayed more than 15 mins + one missed connection caused an arrival delay of 2 hours 50 mins)
US Air (7 flights) 28% (+ one cancelled flight due to mechanical caused a delay in return by 1 hr 45 mins)
Average delay by airline:
Southwest: 50 minutes
United: 31 minutes
US Air: 42 minutes
Not much change in the sad state of airline passenger experience. The FAA Reauthorization funding has still not been approved, airlines are flighting against transparency on fees, TSA remains questionable in its effectiveness, and airlines continue to complain they can't make any money. What an industry.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Reasons for Not Getting Feedback
If you have ever wondered why people don't give you feedback that you need, there are 3 common reasons:
1. Even though you say you want to hear it, you get defensive and make excuses for your behavior to the point where it makes it so difficult for others to be honest, they don't bother.
2. They have given you the feedback multiple times in the past but nothing seems to change. Instead of wasting their time, they stop telling you.
3. They are concerned about retaliation. It has not been safe to give you honest feedback in the past without negative consequences to them.
So, if you have gotten feedback via a 360 assessment or performance review that surprised you, honestly ask yourself if any of the 3 conditions above could be the reason why you haven't heard it before.
1. Even though you say you want to hear it, you get defensive and make excuses for your behavior to the point where it makes it so difficult for others to be honest, they don't bother.
2. They have given you the feedback multiple times in the past but nothing seems to change. Instead of wasting their time, they stop telling you.
3. They are concerned about retaliation. It has not been safe to give you honest feedback in the past without negative consequences to them.
So, if you have gotten feedback via a 360 assessment or performance review that surprised you, honestly ask yourself if any of the 3 conditions above could be the reason why you haven't heard it before.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Are You a Generous Leader?
I was recently reading an article on successful team collaboration and it mentioned something about creating a “gift culture”
(http://businesstalentdna.com/pdf/Eight_Ways_to_Build_Collaborative_Teams%5B1%5D%5B1%5D.pdf) and it got me thinking about how many leaders would be surprised to know that the word “stingy” could accurately describe their management approach? Want to know if you would be considered to be a generous leader? Take this quick, very non-scientific quiz and find out...
Robert Greenleaf wrote an amazing leaflet, originally published in 1970 called “The Servant as Leader” and revolutionized the idea of leading from within, by supporting your team, instead of directing from on top. The benefits of being a leader who is in service and who gives to others generously tend to drive engagement (low maintenance) vs. obedience (high oversight). What they generously provide is coaching, time, responsiveness, freedom to fail, sharing credit and decision-making authority. They draw people in versus pushing them along. They have a healthy sense of humility because they put their followers first and see their job is to remove obstacles for the team, using their influence (as well as getting their hands dirty and owning tasks both low and high level as needed) to make life better for their team vs themselves. They operate from EQ versus EGO.
Take this self-assessment to determine whether your team would more likely coin you as a generous leader or stingy leader:
1. Do I routinely ask for feedback on how I can help them be more effective both day-to-day and in meeting their larger goals?
Generous leaders keep a pulse on the obstacles to team performance and spend diligent time on cutting through bureaucracy to get resources or eliminate unnecessary steps that impede productivity. They see their job as a facilitator of work, not just visionary in the corner office. Generous leaders show the team that they are heeding their advice and continually proving to them that they have a voice within the organization.
2. How often do I defend my team when they need me?
Generous leaders protect their employees from gossip and rumors. They assume everyone’s best intentions and take steps to fully understand issues before reaching conclusions or rushing to judgment. They remain loyal to the absent. They speak up in meetings where their team is being attacked and run interference.
3. When was the last time I gave someone else credit for something I did?
Generous leaders share the spotlight. They are not threatened by others’ receiving attention for accomplishing the work of the team and are able to share successes with their followers. Taking an abundance theory when it comes to praise, acknowledgement and recognition earns deep respect from followers. And it is important to note that the way generous leaders share the spotlight is not just indiscriminately across the board, rather they find out how members of their team like to be recognized. Some appreciate large scale spotlight while others just appreciate a quick, private bask in the sun between them and their leader.
4. How often do I dominate a meeting?
Generous leaders do not need to be the smartest person in the room. They do more listening than talking. They listen to others for understanding, instead of judging. They guide critical thinking via questions versus stating opinions. The most generous leaders are best at asking dialogue enriching questions. Instead of just the facts, generous leaders deepen interactions between themselves and their teams by being a catalyst for deriving meaning from flat data and getting people to communicate in a way where genuine understanding and connections take place.
5. Would my team say that I get more than I give?
Generous leaders always attempt to give more than they get. They put the needs of others first, instead of expecting everyone else to keep them comfortable. They respect the deadlines of peers and direct reports and don’t constantly change priorities on them or operate in chronic crisis mode. Generous leaders respond to messages from their team before the boss or client.
6. What values and expectations do I unconsciously communicate through my behavior?
Every leader should evaluate what message they are sending when they are emailing at
2am or asking for things from their people on the weekends. Even if they say it’s not important for the employee to respond and send it anyway, the damage is done. The expectation is set for what is acceptable and tells others that no matter how much you say you value them as people, your actions don’t show it. And chances are they won’t feel entitled to honor and protect that work/life balance if you don’t. People don’t feel safe when leaders contradict themselves. Check your leadership for contradictions. It’s the number one saboteur of generous leadership.
Although generous leaders appear flexible and supportive, they are not weak. They do not let people walk all over them or take advantage of their philosophy on leadership. They set direction, drive outcomes and hold people accountable by utilizing a giving approach vs. a getting approach.
(http://businesstalentdna.com/pdf/Eight_Ways_to_Build_Collaborative_Teams%5B1%5D%5B1%5D.pdf) and it got me thinking about how many leaders would be surprised to know that the word “stingy” could accurately describe their management approach? Want to know if you would be considered to be a generous leader? Take this quick, very non-scientific quiz and find out...
Robert Greenleaf wrote an amazing leaflet, originally published in 1970 called “The Servant as Leader” and revolutionized the idea of leading from within, by supporting your team, instead of directing from on top. The benefits of being a leader who is in service and who gives to others generously tend to drive engagement (low maintenance) vs. obedience (high oversight). What they generously provide is coaching, time, responsiveness, freedom to fail, sharing credit and decision-making authority. They draw people in versus pushing them along. They have a healthy sense of humility because they put their followers first and see their job is to remove obstacles for the team, using their influence (as well as getting their hands dirty and owning tasks both low and high level as needed) to make life better for their team vs themselves. They operate from EQ versus EGO.
Take this self-assessment to determine whether your team would more likely coin you as a generous leader or stingy leader:
1. Do I routinely ask for feedback on how I can help them be more effective both day-to-day and in meeting their larger goals?
Generous leaders keep a pulse on the obstacles to team performance and spend diligent time on cutting through bureaucracy to get resources or eliminate unnecessary steps that impede productivity. They see their job as a facilitator of work, not just visionary in the corner office. Generous leaders show the team that they are heeding their advice and continually proving to them that they have a voice within the organization.
2. How often do I defend my team when they need me?
Generous leaders protect their employees from gossip and rumors. They assume everyone’s best intentions and take steps to fully understand issues before reaching conclusions or rushing to judgment. They remain loyal to the absent. They speak up in meetings where their team is being attacked and run interference.
3. When was the last time I gave someone else credit for something I did?
Generous leaders share the spotlight. They are not threatened by others’ receiving attention for accomplishing the work of the team and are able to share successes with their followers. Taking an abundance theory when it comes to praise, acknowledgement and recognition earns deep respect from followers. And it is important to note that the way generous leaders share the spotlight is not just indiscriminately across the board, rather they find out how members of their team like to be recognized. Some appreciate large scale spotlight while others just appreciate a quick, private bask in the sun between them and their leader.
4. How often do I dominate a meeting?
Generous leaders do not need to be the smartest person in the room. They do more listening than talking. They listen to others for understanding, instead of judging. They guide critical thinking via questions versus stating opinions. The most generous leaders are best at asking dialogue enriching questions. Instead of just the facts, generous leaders deepen interactions between themselves and their teams by being a catalyst for deriving meaning from flat data and getting people to communicate in a way where genuine understanding and connections take place.
5. Would my team say that I get more than I give?
Generous leaders always attempt to give more than they get. They put the needs of others first, instead of expecting everyone else to keep them comfortable. They respect the deadlines of peers and direct reports and don’t constantly change priorities on them or operate in chronic crisis mode. Generous leaders respond to messages from their team before the boss or client.
6. What values and expectations do I unconsciously communicate through my behavior?
Every leader should evaluate what message they are sending when they are emailing at
2am or asking for things from their people on the weekends. Even if they say it’s not important for the employee to respond and send it anyway, the damage is done. The expectation is set for what is acceptable and tells others that no matter how much you say you value them as people, your actions don’t show it. And chances are they won’t feel entitled to honor and protect that work/life balance if you don’t. People don’t feel safe when leaders contradict themselves. Check your leadership for contradictions. It’s the number one saboteur of generous leadership.
Although generous leaders appear flexible and supportive, they are not weak. They do not let people walk all over them or take advantage of their philosophy on leadership. They set direction, drive outcomes and hold people accountable by utilizing a giving approach vs. a getting approach.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Three Simple Tips to Raise Your Emotional Intelligence
As with many things in life, big impact can come from very small gestures. Sometimes the things that touch us most profoundly are found in moments in time: a specific smile, a kind gesture, a personal note, well-chosen words spoken exactly when you needed to hear them. And the same goes for Emotional Intelligence (EQ). If you are working on increasing your EQ and all the things it brings: more effective working relationships, more genuine and enjoyable personal relationships, a better understanding of other’s needs as well as our own, more opportunities to do what we enjoy with people we enjoy inside and outside work, and the ability to have a greater platform for your thoughts and ideas, don’t feel like you have to reinvent yourself or change some big thing about you. Instead, make subtle but important changes to raise your influence and impact on others. Here are three simple tips to get you started…
In our October 2010 Performance Pointer (http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs088/1100409827245/archive/1103776948817.html), we discussed the important balance between Ego and EQ. When we live in Ego we do things that are
comfortable for us, and force others to do the adjusting. When we use our EQ, we understand that we cannot work from a place that puts our own needs first. So, Tip #1 is get out of your comfort zone. For example, instead of sending out an email late at night or a document for someone else to review while they are on a day off just to be able to check it off your list, wait to do so if the timing is terrible for the receiver. Or if you can’t wait to send it, at least make it clear that you do not want or expect the person to review it on their time off. Setting a clear expectation of response demonstrates a respect and priority for the other person’s time.
Avoid making excuses for your own blind spots or missteps. Take accountability when you have
left someone with a wrong impression. Tip #2 is to judge yourself on your behaviors not your intentions. Get in a habit of nightly or weekly self-reflection where you replay the events of the
week and ponder ways that you may have handled them differently. Perhaps there are some whom you may owe an apology to for your behavior. Pay special attention to times when you unintentionally took out a bad mood or frustration on an undeserving coworker. Consider how
in touch you are with your own body language and behavioral cues. When was the last time you picked up a sense or cue that someone had an issue with you or your approach but didn’t verbalize it? How often do you find yourself mentally defending yourself in your own mind rather than seeking to understand alternate perspectives that would help you connect better with how others see you?
Social self-awareness is increased when we align our intended behavior with the perception others have of our behavior. Simply put, this means there is a congruency between who and how we want to be in relation to others and how others actually perceive us. Intention and reality can be worlds apart. This insight cannot be achieved in a vacuum. Tip #3 is to seek feedback from someone who will be honest. As a high-ranking leader, this is particularly important as the feedback you get on a regular basis will be filtered. Plus, if you don’t ask for it, no one wants
to give their boss unsolicited feedback. Be gracious and open. Thank them for their candor and willingness to care enough to share their thoughts. If anything comes across as unpleasant or confusing, resist the urge to defend or shut down and begin a new reflex response in its place – curiosity. Ask open ended questions in a non confrontive way such as “tell me more about
that….”, “okay that’s an important point…can you give me an example so I can be sure I’m on the same page”, “what would the better way look like if I were to improve or change that?”. If it is too difficult to get honest feedback yourself, consider taking a multi-rater assessment (also popularly called “a 360”) or h hire a coach to do some source interviews with the people who work with you and help you explore the data for meaning and application. Our coaching clients report that receiving once-in-a-lifetime feedback like this was life changing for them both
personally and professionally and from the coaches perspective post-360 is when we gain a lot of developmental traction because the person is able to for the first time clearly see cause and effect of their behavior.
If you’re tired of being frustrated with other’s behavior and wondering why it never seems to change despite your efforts, it might be time to reverse your focus. When we begin working with our clients on themselves (their motives, intentions vs. perceptions, reaction vs. seeking to understand, finding mutually satisfying goals/solutions), they are always shocked at how much the world around them changes as they do. Sailors know that adjusting the sail by even a few degrees can change the entire direction of their course. Human behavior is no different. Make small changes now and you may be amazed at the dramatically different place it takes you.
In our October 2010 Performance Pointer (http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs088/1100409827245/archive/1103776948817.html), we discussed the important balance between Ego and EQ. When we live in Ego we do things that are
comfortable for us, and force others to do the adjusting. When we use our EQ, we understand that we cannot work from a place that puts our own needs first. So, Tip #1 is get out of your comfort zone. For example, instead of sending out an email late at night or a document for someone else to review while they are on a day off just to be able to check it off your list, wait to do so if the timing is terrible for the receiver. Or if you can’t wait to send it, at least make it clear that you do not want or expect the person to review it on their time off. Setting a clear expectation of response demonstrates a respect and priority for the other person’s time.
Avoid making excuses for your own blind spots or missteps. Take accountability when you have
left someone with a wrong impression. Tip #2 is to judge yourself on your behaviors not your intentions. Get in a habit of nightly or weekly self-reflection where you replay the events of the
week and ponder ways that you may have handled them differently. Perhaps there are some whom you may owe an apology to for your behavior. Pay special attention to times when you unintentionally took out a bad mood or frustration on an undeserving coworker. Consider how
in touch you are with your own body language and behavioral cues. When was the last time you picked up a sense or cue that someone had an issue with you or your approach but didn’t verbalize it? How often do you find yourself mentally defending yourself in your own mind rather than seeking to understand alternate perspectives that would help you connect better with how others see you?
Social self-awareness is increased when we align our intended behavior with the perception others have of our behavior. Simply put, this means there is a congruency between who and how we want to be in relation to others and how others actually perceive us. Intention and reality can be worlds apart. This insight cannot be achieved in a vacuum. Tip #3 is to seek feedback from someone who will be honest. As a high-ranking leader, this is particularly important as the feedback you get on a regular basis will be filtered. Plus, if you don’t ask for it, no one wants
to give their boss unsolicited feedback. Be gracious and open. Thank them for their candor and willingness to care enough to share their thoughts. If anything comes across as unpleasant or confusing, resist the urge to defend or shut down and begin a new reflex response in its place – curiosity. Ask open ended questions in a non confrontive way such as “tell me more about
that….”, “okay that’s an important point…can you give me an example so I can be sure I’m on the same page”, “what would the better way look like if I were to improve or change that?”. If it is too difficult to get honest feedback yourself, consider taking a multi-rater assessment (also popularly called “a 360”) or h hire a coach to do some source interviews with the people who work with you and help you explore the data for meaning and application. Our coaching clients report that receiving once-in-a-lifetime feedback like this was life changing for them both
personally and professionally and from the coaches perspective post-360 is when we gain a lot of developmental traction because the person is able to for the first time clearly see cause and effect of their behavior.
If you’re tired of being frustrated with other’s behavior and wondering why it never seems to change despite your efforts, it might be time to reverse your focus. When we begin working with our clients on themselves (their motives, intentions vs. perceptions, reaction vs. seeking to understand, finding mutually satisfying goals/solutions), they are always shocked at how much the world around them changes as they do. Sailors know that adjusting the sail by even a few degrees can change the entire direction of their course. Human behavior is no different. Make small changes now and you may be amazed at the dramatically different place it takes you.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Surprising Workplace Performance Booster: Mindfulness
“I don’t have time to think. My workload and pace is so intense I literally don’t feel like I have time to think, only to act and desperately try to keep up with the flood of demands and expectations. Thinking big picture or strategic or examining what and how I’m doing things and why, forget it. I have to keep my head down and keep going. And this is not just me, this is the culture. We all live with it.”
This is how one client described the incapacitating experience of his workload stress. Sadly, he’s not alone by a long shot. We hear this sentiment from clients at all levels and often from some of the most successful and productive people. Despite their results, they aren’t basking in the glow of their success. They’re busy trying not to drown in it.
Our to-do lists have seeped into our nights and weekends, spreadsheets and emails whirling in our heads as we toss and turn. We work hard at staying organized, utilizing our technology and paper planners to cram productivity into every breath, only to wonder at the end of the week what the heck we accomplished that truly meant anything. Mindfulness is the key to breaking this paradoxical unproductive productive cycle. It just might be the switch to turn your personal rat race into the fulfilling and exciting career you deserve.
What is Mindfulness anyway? No pretzel yoga poses required. Nope, burning incense or candles in your office won’t be necessary. According to Ellen Langer, author of several groundbreaking books on Mindfulness, the term Mindfulness is the opposite of Mindlessness, which involves automatic, habitual thought that is most frequently associated with behaviors of people who are distracted, hurried, multi-tasking, and/or overloaded. Conversely, mindfulness means being continually aware and dialed in to the moment and those participating in our moments. It is an “attunement to today’s demands to avoid tomorrow’s difficulties”. This mindset creates an openness to new information (creativity), an awareness of multiple perspectives (empathy and insight), and a quiet mental room in which to explore and examine what would otherwise be performed on auto pilot (critical thinking).
Adopting a habit of mindfulness in the workplace simply means approaching everything on your list and in your day in a thoughtful, objective, and holistic (tasks/goals and people/relationships) manner. It requires that you mentally “check in” on what is happening within yourself and around you. Let’s briefly review three important check-ins that help to create a mindset of mindfulness at work.
Check Your Pace
Often our tendency is to move rapidly into fixing mode or to maintain a continuous breakneck speed towards achievement, especially within high pressure cultures. This approach can reap results and therefore reinforces a mindless pace that is riddled with the blind spots of an overly outcome centric approach. To be mindful doesn’t mean being slow or ineffective. Rather, it is a mental check-in that thoroughly assesses the situation to determine the most balanced and effective method and pace for accomplishing the task at hand. It causes us to ask
the why, how, who, and what else questions that are so vital to wise decision making: assessment before action. Instead of moving at the speed of the culture or others demands, mindfulness provides a stop gap that helps us focus, increases our energy and allows us to more skillfully apply our talents. It encourages us to stop and thoughtfully consider all aspects of the project or problem and resist the urge or pressure to jump in and rush toward results. Without this mindful pace check-in, we miss important details and fail to understand root causes, almost guaranteeing a reoccurrence of the issue. Mindlessly, we might actually make the problem worse. A good technique for creating a mindful work pace is to start by assessing how you currently schedule your days. Are you booking yourself too tightly or committing to unrealistic deadlines? Push back on timelines that don’t feel balanced or necessary and be sure to schedule chunks of time in between meetings to process and plan around what you’ve heard.
Check Your Control
Many people report deep frustration and lack of personal fulfillment stemming from feeling out of control of their time. Keeping up with an intense workload is a common cause of mindlessness. Conversely, practicing mindfulness snaps your brain out of auto pilot by reexamining everything you had previously accepted as part of the necessary evils of the job. Are all your deadlines and workload expectations realistic and set collaboratively? Simply put, how much are you managing your environment and how much is it managing you? Fight any urge to think that achieving this level of influence is not realistic in your environment. We’ve heard this excuse many times and unfailingly clients are able to think of at least one person they work with who does exert control over their time and the expectations placed on them by others. It’s not that you can’t control your time; it’s merely a matter of learning how to do it. This more mindful and assertive approach for managing workload expectations might be different than what others have come to expect from working with you but rarely does that become a stumbling block. More likely, others barely notice when we renegotiate task terms yet we get a world of relief and a sense of personal accomplishment from taking back control of our time.
Check Your Plate
Should everything that is on your list actually be on your list? This is where you check-in that you are asking for help when needed, not assuming the problems of others instead of coaching them to do it themselves, and having the confidence to push back on a task or deadline that either doesn’t belong with you or will cause undue stress to accomplish it in the time allotted. The worst case stories we often tell ourselves about what might happen if we don’t meet or exceed other’s expectations often include things like…they’ll stop coming to me for help…others will see me as disorganized, ineffective or lacking a sense of urgency if I
push back on their timing….they’ll communicate poorly about me to others…I should be able to handle this; it’s my job….and more of the same. Reality rarely lives up to the fiction that plays out in our heads. Stay mindful about what you take on, what resources you’ll need, and what commitments you’ll need others to make for you to be set up for success, not stress.
If you can relate to our client’s sentiments and feel you too struggle to find the time to think, then take this opportunity to stop and awaken to another option. A mindful mindset is counter to our modern world and will take practice. Start by taking one thing on your plate today and mindfully assess it with fresh eyes. Less stress, more fun, collaboration, and meaningful impact….You never know what else you might discover.
This is how one client described the incapacitating experience of his workload stress. Sadly, he’s not alone by a long shot. We hear this sentiment from clients at all levels and often from some of the most successful and productive people. Despite their results, they aren’t basking in the glow of their success. They’re busy trying not to drown in it.
Our to-do lists have seeped into our nights and weekends, spreadsheets and emails whirling in our heads as we toss and turn. We work hard at staying organized, utilizing our technology and paper planners to cram productivity into every breath, only to wonder at the end of the week what the heck we accomplished that truly meant anything. Mindfulness is the key to breaking this paradoxical unproductive productive cycle. It just might be the switch to turn your personal rat race into the fulfilling and exciting career you deserve.
What is Mindfulness anyway? No pretzel yoga poses required. Nope, burning incense or candles in your office won’t be necessary. According to Ellen Langer, author of several groundbreaking books on Mindfulness, the term Mindfulness is the opposite of Mindlessness, which involves automatic, habitual thought that is most frequently associated with behaviors of people who are distracted, hurried, multi-tasking, and/or overloaded. Conversely, mindfulness means being continually aware and dialed in to the moment and those participating in our moments. It is an “attunement to today’s demands to avoid tomorrow’s difficulties”. This mindset creates an openness to new information (creativity), an awareness of multiple perspectives (empathy and insight), and a quiet mental room in which to explore and examine what would otherwise be performed on auto pilot (critical thinking).
Adopting a habit of mindfulness in the workplace simply means approaching everything on your list and in your day in a thoughtful, objective, and holistic (tasks/goals and people/relationships) manner. It requires that you mentally “check in” on what is happening within yourself and around you. Let’s briefly review three important check-ins that help to create a mindset of mindfulness at work.
Check Your Pace
Often our tendency is to move rapidly into fixing mode or to maintain a continuous breakneck speed towards achievement, especially within high pressure cultures. This approach can reap results and therefore reinforces a mindless pace that is riddled with the blind spots of an overly outcome centric approach. To be mindful doesn’t mean being slow or ineffective. Rather, it is a mental check-in that thoroughly assesses the situation to determine the most balanced and effective method and pace for accomplishing the task at hand. It causes us to ask
the why, how, who, and what else questions that are so vital to wise decision making: assessment before action. Instead of moving at the speed of the culture or others demands, mindfulness provides a stop gap that helps us focus, increases our energy and allows us to more skillfully apply our talents. It encourages us to stop and thoughtfully consider all aspects of the project or problem and resist the urge or pressure to jump in and rush toward results. Without this mindful pace check-in, we miss important details and fail to understand root causes, almost guaranteeing a reoccurrence of the issue. Mindlessly, we might actually make the problem worse. A good technique for creating a mindful work pace is to start by assessing how you currently schedule your days. Are you booking yourself too tightly or committing to unrealistic deadlines? Push back on timelines that don’t feel balanced or necessary and be sure to schedule chunks of time in between meetings to process and plan around what you’ve heard.
Check Your Control
Many people report deep frustration and lack of personal fulfillment stemming from feeling out of control of their time. Keeping up with an intense workload is a common cause of mindlessness. Conversely, practicing mindfulness snaps your brain out of auto pilot by reexamining everything you had previously accepted as part of the necessary evils of the job. Are all your deadlines and workload expectations realistic and set collaboratively? Simply put, how much are you managing your environment and how much is it managing you? Fight any urge to think that achieving this level of influence is not realistic in your environment. We’ve heard this excuse many times and unfailingly clients are able to think of at least one person they work with who does exert control over their time and the expectations placed on them by others. It’s not that you can’t control your time; it’s merely a matter of learning how to do it. This more mindful and assertive approach for managing workload expectations might be different than what others have come to expect from working with you but rarely does that become a stumbling block. More likely, others barely notice when we renegotiate task terms yet we get a world of relief and a sense of personal accomplishment from taking back control of our time.
Check Your Plate
Should everything that is on your list actually be on your list? This is where you check-in that you are asking for help when needed, not assuming the problems of others instead of coaching them to do it themselves, and having the confidence to push back on a task or deadline that either doesn’t belong with you or will cause undue stress to accomplish it in the time allotted. The worst case stories we often tell ourselves about what might happen if we don’t meet or exceed other’s expectations often include things like…they’ll stop coming to me for help…others will see me as disorganized, ineffective or lacking a sense of urgency if I
push back on their timing….they’ll communicate poorly about me to others…I should be able to handle this; it’s my job….and more of the same. Reality rarely lives up to the fiction that plays out in our heads. Stay mindful about what you take on, what resources you’ll need, and what commitments you’ll need others to make for you to be set up for success, not stress.
If you can relate to our client’s sentiments and feel you too struggle to find the time to think, then take this opportunity to stop and awaken to another option. A mindful mindset is counter to our modern world and will take practice. Start by taking one thing on your plate today and mindfully assess it with fresh eyes. Less stress, more fun, collaboration, and meaningful impact….You never know what else you might discover.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Choosing Optimism
We all have heard the expression that you can see the glass as half full or half empty, which implies that we have a choice in seeing the world the way we want to. Some challenge that and wonder how much can someone’s outlook on life be altered? The good news is research has shown that optimism, which is one of the Emotional Intelligence skills, can be learned. It is vital for organizations be chock full of optimists and the positive attitudes that come with them. If you would like information on testing your optimism or learn how to increase it, read on.
Optimism has a correlation with better health (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/positive-thinking/SR00009), longer life (http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov06/healthy.aspx), more happiness and more fulfilling relationships. The Oxford English Dictionary defines optimism as having "hopefulness and confidence about the future or successful outcome of something; a tendency to take a favourable or hopeful view." It is someone who sees setbacks as temporary, and good things in life to be prevalent. It is someone who believes that positive change is possible in themselves and others. And an optimist sees problems as individual occurrences, not the grand plan against them. Without optimism, individuals tend to look for the negative in all situations, finding all the reasons why something will go wrong and the flaw in any plan (yes, they love to quote “Murphy”).
The leading researcher on the topic of optimism and “positive psychology” is Martin Seligman. He runs the Authentic Happiness Institute and the University of Pennsylvania. At his website (http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/questionnaires.aspx) you can take several free assessments on your level of Optimism, Happiness and Gratitude.
In his book Learned Optimism Seligman says,
“The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe that bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe that defeat is just a temporary setback or a challenge, that its causes are just confined to this one case.”
This highlights the common dynamic of pessimists who commonly point outward in their search for why things aren’t the way they want them to be. Instead of looking for their part in the problem, owning it and taking steps toward fixing the issue, they always find someone to blame. Instead of identifying their point of influence and leveraging their personal power, they waste loads of time and energy complaining about their issues. “Bad luck” lets them off the hook for taking action and personal responsibility. Pessimists unknowingly play the victim in life (http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs088/1100409827245/archive/1101690503429.html)
Seligman tested his theory with the hiring of new sales people at Met Life. It was a daring experiment: hire candidates who scored low on the company’s traditional hiring process but high in optimism. They tracked their results against a control group and they outsold the pessimists by 21 percent the first year, and by 57 percent the second year. The results included Met Life increasing its market share of the personal insurance market by 50%.
Tips on Increasing Your Optimism:
• Be mindful of your first reaction to assume the worst. Ask yourself, “What about this situation could work out well?”
• Catch yourself (or ask a trusted colleague) to catch you using negative language. Words such as “fat chance”, “don’t waste your breath”, “I have the worst luck”, “nothing will change” all reveal your pessimistic expectations and make you look like a downer.
• Find your happy place. Visualize your life in the future at its best, with your goals accomplished, your stressors removed, surrounded by the people who bring out the best in you.
• Don’t believe everything you think. Challenge yourself to change your thinking and you will change your behavior.
• Interview yourself when you anticipate the worst to happen. Ask: Why do I have such low expectations of this? What are the odds that the worst case scenario will actually happen? Are there actions I can take to mitigate any risk? What if the best outcome happened?
• Lose the pessimists in your life. Free yourself of relationships that bring out the worst in you, and make a date with an optimist. Good feelings and positive attitudes are contagious (just like the negative ones). Work to surround yourself in your business and personal life with people who make you feel strong, successful, valuable, energized, and happy.
• Leaders with optimism are the ones people want to work for. Light-hearted, positive, seeing the best in people, and confident are all strong leadership qualities. On the flip side, a leader cannot be seen as too optimistic or they appear out of touch with reality. Bosses who continually talk in prettied up press release-speak and relentlessly preach the company line quickly lose credibility, respect and performance from their people. If you’ve had an overly idealistic supervisor attempt to “motivate” you, then you know exactly how frustrating and demotivating unbalanced optimism can be.
As with all the EI skills, optimism must be at high, but appropriate, levels to be seen as genuine. Do an attitude check and ensure that you are not getting into a pattern of negative energy or constant complaining. No one wants to work with a buzz kill.
A pessimist has no motor. An optimist has no brakes.
Optimism has a correlation with better health (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/positive-thinking/SR00009), longer life (http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov06/healthy.aspx), more happiness and more fulfilling relationships. The Oxford English Dictionary defines optimism as having "hopefulness and confidence about the future or successful outcome of something; a tendency to take a favourable or hopeful view." It is someone who sees setbacks as temporary, and good things in life to be prevalent. It is someone who believes that positive change is possible in themselves and others. And an optimist sees problems as individual occurrences, not the grand plan against them. Without optimism, individuals tend to look for the negative in all situations, finding all the reasons why something will go wrong and the flaw in any plan (yes, they love to quote “Murphy”).
The leading researcher on the topic of optimism and “positive psychology” is Martin Seligman. He runs the Authentic Happiness Institute and the University of Pennsylvania. At his website (http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/questionnaires.aspx) you can take several free assessments on your level of Optimism, Happiness and Gratitude.
In his book Learned Optimism Seligman says,
“The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe that bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe that defeat is just a temporary setback or a challenge, that its causes are just confined to this one case.”
This highlights the common dynamic of pessimists who commonly point outward in their search for why things aren’t the way they want them to be. Instead of looking for their part in the problem, owning it and taking steps toward fixing the issue, they always find someone to blame. Instead of identifying their point of influence and leveraging their personal power, they waste loads of time and energy complaining about their issues. “Bad luck” lets them off the hook for taking action and personal responsibility. Pessimists unknowingly play the victim in life (http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs088/1100409827245/archive/1101690503429.html)
Seligman tested his theory with the hiring of new sales people at Met Life. It was a daring experiment: hire candidates who scored low on the company’s traditional hiring process but high in optimism. They tracked their results against a control group and they outsold the pessimists by 21 percent the first year, and by 57 percent the second year. The results included Met Life increasing its market share of the personal insurance market by 50%.
Tips on Increasing Your Optimism:
• Be mindful of your first reaction to assume the worst. Ask yourself, “What about this situation could work out well?”
• Catch yourself (or ask a trusted colleague) to catch you using negative language. Words such as “fat chance”, “don’t waste your breath”, “I have the worst luck”, “nothing will change” all reveal your pessimistic expectations and make you look like a downer.
• Find your happy place. Visualize your life in the future at its best, with your goals accomplished, your stressors removed, surrounded by the people who bring out the best in you.
• Don’t believe everything you think. Challenge yourself to change your thinking and you will change your behavior.
• Interview yourself when you anticipate the worst to happen. Ask: Why do I have such low expectations of this? What are the odds that the worst case scenario will actually happen? Are there actions I can take to mitigate any risk? What if the best outcome happened?
• Lose the pessimists in your life. Free yourself of relationships that bring out the worst in you, and make a date with an optimist. Good feelings and positive attitudes are contagious (just like the negative ones). Work to surround yourself in your business and personal life with people who make you feel strong, successful, valuable, energized, and happy.
• Leaders with optimism are the ones people want to work for. Light-hearted, positive, seeing the best in people, and confident are all strong leadership qualities. On the flip side, a leader cannot be seen as too optimistic or they appear out of touch with reality. Bosses who continually talk in prettied up press release-speak and relentlessly preach the company line quickly lose credibility, respect and performance from their people. If you’ve had an overly idealistic supervisor attempt to “motivate” you, then you know exactly how frustrating and demotivating unbalanced optimism can be.
As with all the EI skills, optimism must be at high, but appropriate, levels to be seen as genuine. Do an attitude check and ensure that you are not getting into a pattern of negative energy or constant complaining. No one wants to work with a buzz kill.
A pessimist has no motor. An optimist has no brakes.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
EQ and Leadership
I was interviewed on July 6th by Ric Franzi of Critical Mass for Business (www.criticalmassforbusiness.com) on the topic of Emotional Intelligence and leadership.
I hope you check it out...
http://t.co/XRMYF3Q
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